Thoughts

TOO BLACK TOO STRONG

Recently I have been going through a lot in terms of getting adjusted to this new city/atmosphere. 

If you follow me on my personal Facebook there was a statement I made about a week ago that pretty much summed up how I was feeling at the time. This is the quote:

"Too Black and Too Strong, thats exactly what I will always be. If you don't like my cup of coffee go get a light roast cause you clearly cannot handle it".

I will explain my reasoning for this quote but first I'll explain what inspired this quote. 

This is the original Malcolm X quote that I referenced:

"It’s just like when you’ve got some coffee that’s too black, which means it’s too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won’t even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep." -Malcolm X

I had gone to an appointment at a local agency here in LA and from what I thought, it went pretty well. Usually when I go to these meetings I know what to expect. After the meeting the booker informed me that they were going to get back to me because she had to check with the other bookers if they could represent me for modeling. 

Two days later she got back to me and sent me a brief message about why they couldn't represent me at their modeling agency. Now that I've been modeling for a little bit I know how to deal with rejection and criticism. The one thing that stuck out was the fact that she said my look was "too strong" for the clients that they work with. 

I was puzzled at first but then I analyzed her statement. My look was "too strong"? Was that suppose to mean that it was too unique? I know that the industry that I am working in is designed and built for white models and consumers but should I let that discourage me? I thought about the Malcolm X quote and it seemed to fit so well with everything that was happening.

When you are building a career based on the way that you look, you have to develop a way of dealing with the deterrents. As a black women it sucks that I have to fight so hard for something that is simply given to my white counterparts. But I cannot take it personal because this system is engrained into this industry and it takes time to change. 

In the end, I think I was glad they didn't choose me. If I had worked with them they would not have paid that much attention to me because I was not what their clients were looking for in the first place. I want to be working with people that understand me as a person and will fight with me when it comes to situations like this.

I am glad I am too black and too strong for them because I am not the average girl they are looking for. I have a history and a story that cannot just simply be washed away. 

Xoxo

Kuoth